Innovative

You gotta love Innovative (the cable company). Two hours into a movie and ..........

Innovative Cable Update

Well after all the high drama last go round about the cable boxes, we finally worked through it all and now have a cable box in the living room as well as one for the tenant. Without a total rehash of the last post. Deb got the "Notarized" letter from our land lord and went over last Wednesday on her lunch hour/and a half, to try to get the boxes. Well the lady that originally started this process was off. So she was assigned to Ms Smith. She promptly took one look at Deb and decided "no box for you", yes there is a Cable Nazi in Tutu. She decided that the "Notarized" letter granting us permission to pay the outrageous deposits, the first months bill and any and all related paperwork and additional misc. fees, signed by the landlord, as well as two Id's a copy of our lease, etc. etc. simply wasn't proof enough.

She now wanted the work order form, which is a carbon copy form in triplicate, you can't make up stuff this funny, signed and notarized by the land lord, who by the way lives in NC and was preparing for a Tropical Storm while this was going on. Now mailing this form to NC getting it signed and notarized and mailed back is twenty bucks worth of priority mail and two weeks minimum turnaround. Well Deb was already over on her lunch hour, didn't have the stomach for causing a scene so she went back to work and called me to let me know that the Cable Box not soon come.

So after stewing on this nonsense for about a half hour, I took the better part of my lunch hour, called Innovative and asked to speak to a customer service supervisor. I actually managed to get one on the phone, she wasn't in a "meeting" or anything. I ran down my short version of the events involved, and my previous weeks conversation with the lady in "Cubicle #4" about the "Notarized" letter and asked her why the whole thing changed. She took my number and said she wanted to check into it and would call me back. Well low and behold in about twenty minutes she called me back, she said that Ms. Smith said that Debbie came in and claimed she was Shelba, our land lord and tried to order the service and until she asked for ID Deb never came clean. Well this is when I went A type personality on her, this was an out and out lie to cover up the fact that Ms. Smith is a mean lady playing Cable Nazi. Deb went in and gave her a notarized letter explained the whole story about the lady in "Cubicle #4" wanting it and that is all we should need. So after I told the supervisor about the lie she wanted Deb's number to verify her side of the story. So she called Deb, agreed that we had plenty of documentation and indeed we should have been given the boxes. Deb says fine I get off at 4:00 I will come back and get them. Not so fast we are currently out of boxes, yes we had them this morning when you were here but we are out now. "So I will call you tomorrow if we get any in and I will hold two for you and you can come and get them." Well 3:30 Thursday no call, Deb calls back, yes we had some this morning but we are out now. So she goes all A type on the supervisor, who then assures her we will have them on Friday. Deb calls again Friday afternoon and they do have them and the lady in "Cubicle #4" is holding two for you.

So on Friday we both go over, we arrive around 4:30 Deb signs into the second receptionist, as we already know were to go at this point the first receptionist is a mute point. Low and behold the receptionist is none other than Ms. Smith aka the Cable Nazi, Deb let's her know that we need to see the supervisor and she reluctantly goes in the back and gets her. She promptly takes Deb to Cubicle #4, I stayed in the lobby, I figured with my personality and the stinky sweaty clothes that I had been working in for eight hours, the cubicle wasn't the place for me.
I won't go into the details but the paperwork took an additional forty five minutes. Then Deb had to go across the hall, pay the cashier, because it would make to much sense for the customer service rep to be able to take a check for the deposit. Then she had to take the receipt back to cubicle #4 and prove she actually paid the deposit, then and only then did the rep do the final paperwork, a warranty for ninety days on the remotes that we had to purchase, and give us the boxes. She had explained to Deb during this drawn out process that all of the paperwork and restrictions were due to FCC regulations about cable boxes. Well in the almost famous words of a friend of mine from WV, I have to call Bull Shit on that one. Everything about this company, much like a lot of the government offices and utilities here are designed to maximize employment, period. They have a person for everything, and a dozen forms to go with it, just to justify employment.
I have never written a song before but I am seriously thinking about turning this one into an Alice's Restaurant kind of ditty:)

Island Fun from Innovative Cable

Well a while back Innovative decided that to continue to get expanded basic cable you will need to rent a box and buy a remote or no CNN for you. They now require the box for expanded basic but they don't have any boxes. You have to call in the morning ask about the boxes then drive to Tutu and wait in line and hope they don't run out. They get them in when people cancel their cable and or occasionaly a new shipment arrives. They apparently don't have a budget to add additional boxes even though they are now required.
So yesterday morning around 9:00 Deb calls and low and behold they have some boxes. So I went in to get one. I was greeted at the door, well the desk inside the door by a less than enthusiastic West Indian lad. I gave him my best good morning explained that I needed a cable box and he pointed me into an office behind him to the left. I enter the room, read the directions for signing in. Even though the only two people in the room are me and the receptionist. I take my seat as instructed, she reads my name and again asks me what I need. I explain that I am there to upgrade to expanded basic and need a cable box. She goes in the back checks to see if anyone is available to help me. Comes back and takes me to cubicle number four. I again use my best good morning and get a grumble back. Then I hand the email from my landlord, my account number, ID etc to the lady. She looks at me over her glasses, pulls up the account on the screen, sighs and says, you need an original notarized letter from your landlord to get the new box. I kindly explain that my landlord is in North Carolina for the whole summer, she has called in and authorized the addition of the box and gave the customer service rep my name and information to allow me to pay for the box and the remote. She sighs again, yes I have the information on my computer that she has authorized the addition but your landlord was told to send a notarized letter authorizing you to pick up the box. "Only the supervisor can override the requirement for a notarized original letter. The supervisor is in a meeting, leave me a copy of your ID, your social security number and the email letter and I will see if they will override the requirement and call you back." So I am assuming they have requested an FBI background check, and will likely be calling to set up a home visit to assure that we have a suitable household to adopt a cable box. We still have no box. So we can watch the Chicago news, the New York News, QVC channel, tourist TV, Telemondo, and four different preachers, and occasionally the VI legislature at any given time.
Jay